The Psychology Of Gift Giving
Is there such a thing as the perfect gift? This is the question that people ask themselves every single holiday season. The seemingly tricky task of finding the ideal item for a loved one can leave many feeling quite stressed. This is especially the case when shopping for a picky person. However, when you take the time to look at the psychology of gift giving, locating products that are guaranteed to please becomes quite simple.
The Goals Of Gift Giving
According to best-selling author and executive leadership coach Peter Bregman, “we give people gifts to show them that we are grateful for them and value the role they play in our lives.” Thus, this is not just a material item that you are giving. It is an expression of appreciation and a way to enhance your relationship with the recipient. It is also a tradition that can bring happiness to both the giver and the receiver.
Yet, simply giving a gift will not accomplish these initiatives. Finding the perfect present requires selecting something useful and meaningful to that specific individual. Unfortunately though, what is ideal for some, is less valued by others. Thus, how do you find the right fit for the person you are shopping for? The psychology of gift giving says that the answer lies in showing the recipient that you know them better than they think.
Choose Purposeful Presents
We could all use a new pair of socks. However, this is not an item that demonstrates consideration for the other person. It is a basic necessity that anyone could purchase for themselves. In order to find a thoughtful gift, you need to search for something that they will find practical. Moreover, it should encompass their specific likes and interests. Many times, this will also be an item that the person would not necessarily buy for themselves. So, think about who you are gifting and what could enhance their pastimes.
For instance, if they love to be in the great outdoors, consider a gift to make their backyard space more appealing. A patio fire pit provides a purpose, but it also allows them to enjoy their favorite environment. Better yet, it has a social aspect to it. This, in turn, allows you the opportunity to engage with that person. This transforms the present into a shared experience.
Research shows that “the relationship improvements that recipients derive from experiential gifts stem from the intensity of emotion that is evoked when they consume the gifts, rather than when the gifts are received.” This is due to the fact that experiences bring memories that create long term gratification. This equates to a stronger bond between the individuals and it emphasizes your investment in the relationship.
Think Outside Of The Box
Some of the most meaningful gifts seem trivial to those with an outside perspective. If the true meaning of gift giving is an exhibition of kindness, then the best method for success is to find a gift that is significant to the recipient. Upon taking a survey, it was made clear that the size and the cost of the gifts were irrelevant. The items just need to show that you listen and care.
When discussing cherished possessions, one survey respondent reminisced over a framed photograph. It was of her and her father hugging on her wedding day. Interestingly enough, it was not the paid photographer who captured the image. Rather, a friend waiting on the side of the dance floor. During every wedding this person attends, they patiently wait to catch these significant moments in time. The intent – to trigger feelings of love and happiness long after the event is over. The picture cost less than a dollar to print, but the present will stand the test of time.
Another recipient expressed that the best gift he ever received was a 25 foot measuring tape. For years, he had made two 15 foot measuring tapes work, even though a simple $25 purchase would have made his life easier. After making a comment in passing, he received this seemingly boring gift and was overcome with joy. Just like with the photograph, the cost was minimal, but the impact was great.
Focus On Long Term Gratification
These gifts demonstrate attentiveness and a perception of the person’s wants and needs. The simple act of paying attention is a proven technique for strengthening relationships. Why? First and foremost, everyone likes to be heard. It makes them feel valued. Second, these are items that the recipients truly desire, but either can’t or won’t obtain themselves. This makes them significant. It also ensures long term use and appreciation.
Always Consider The Occasion
Creative gifts are relished on birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. However, research shows that when a person or a couple has taken the time to request certain items, it is always best to stick to the list. This is primarily the case for weddings and baby showers.
These are occasions where the items are more necessities than luxuries. Moreover, these are gifts that have been thoroughly researched by the person asking for them. You may think that a specific bassinet would be a beautiful addition to the nursery, but the mother-to-be may not have the space or the need for such an item. This diminishes the impact of the gesture, making the psychological effects less beneficial.
Does Cash Have The Same Effect?
The psychology behind gift giving shows that cash and gift cards can bring both positive and negative emotions. In the instance of a wedding, graduation, or baby shower, many folks prefer receiving money. This is because they have big purchases to make in their immediate future. Additionally, they are acquiring a myriad of gifts all at once. Thus, the psychological impact of the presents will be much less compared to a one-on-one interaction.
In contrast, for smaller occasions, giving money is seen as putting a value on the relationship. This unfortunately backfires on those who cannot afford to fork out a large sum. Furthermore, if you send a gift card to a store that the person does not frequent, then it not only seems impersonal, but it also implies that you do not know the person as well as they thought. Always contemplate the event before writing that check or grabbing a gift card at the checkout.
Only Engage In Gift Giving With Pure Intentions
The most important part of gift giving is altruism. You should never go into this exchange with the expectation of receiving something in return. This will only bring disappointment. Control should never be the motive for this action. Studies on the psychological effects of selfish versus selfless behavior show that “self-centered psychological functioning induces fluctuating happiness, [whereas] authentic–durable happiness results from selflessness.”
When you enter these moments with only the intent of pure unadulterated kindness and concern for the well-being of others, it changes how your brain functions. Dr. Waguih William IsHak, a professor of psychiatry at Cedars-Sinai, notes that there is a link between “random acts of kindness [and the release of] dopamine, a chemical messenger in the brain that can give us a feeling of euphoria." In other words, selfless kind gestures bring pleasure to participants.
For many, the psychology of gift giving translates into a love language. For others, it's just a way to brighten someone’s day. No matter which way you lean, exchanging presents can foster more than just a happy moment. If you take the time to select something that matters to the other person, you will stimulate joyful emotions that will have a positive impact on your future.